KING of SWORDS – Mom, Dad, I’m gay.

KING of SWORDS - Mom, Dad, I'm gay.

There are many instances that come to mind when I think of Ace of Swords moments in my life. One in particular was when I was 15 and decided to come out to my parents as queer.

The day I came out to my parents started out rough. I had been stressing about my parents finding out I was queer, kids at my high school were finding out I was queer and starting to talk, plus the girl I was dating broke up with me. It’s a lot to hold for a 15 year old! Something happened that morning that felt like a bolt of lightening. Something inside me knew it was time to come out to my parents. Something deep inside knew there was no turning back and that I needed to tell them that day. I was terrified, so I made a deal with god. I bargained that I was going to drive to my friend’s house and that if she was home I would get a pass, but if she wasn’t I would have to follow through. This friend was always home so I figured I’d get a break, but not on this day. When I realized she wasn’t home I knew that the next step was to go home, write a letter to my folks, pack a bag, and run away. This is not something I could have planned days in advance, the window of courage was there and I had to step through. I did it. All hell broke loose and there was plenty of fallout.. But I did it. Perhaps if I had been older, or had a different kind of relationship with them I would have sat down and told them in person. How I did it felt like a choice. The knowing that this was the time felt like something much bigger than me.

The Ace of Swords is about a burst of clarity or inspiration that many say is divinely inspired. It demands that the truth be served and that whatever comes out of that be dealt with. It is up to us how we follow through or even if we follow through, but the door is wide open and will not be ignored.

We would be wise to choose our words and actions carefully. The sword is double edged and can cut through the lies and distractions in a refreshing way, a painful way, or both. Probably both.

Even when this card brings up fear, it is a gift. It ultimately shows up in the service of truth.

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